So, my first thought in sitting down to write about potty training our eldest (nearly 3 year old) son (Captain Chaos a.k.a. 'The Captain') is that anyone who tells you that you can successfully potty train your child in less than a week is either a LIAR or has some sort of toddler whispering wisdom and level of patience that is only found in the far reaches of some unknown parent universe that I didn't get an invite to. POTTY TRAINING STINKS. There, I've said it.
Call it a New Year's resolution if you will, but I decided that with the turn over of a new year I was going to suck it up and potty train the Captain. I would say 'finally' but considering he isn't even 3 yet I know that this is a bit ambitious and on the young side. None the less, I got a bee in my bonnet and set out to tackle this ultimate parenting task.
Here is a general recap until now:
- Lead up days 1-3 : I read almost every potty training website and advice blog and comment that I could on how to successfully do this. I was armed with super hero underpants, a fleet of matchbox cars ($1.00 a pop) that makes Jay Leno's collection of vehicles look like a drop in the bucket, dollar store containers of glow sticks, I printed out 3 different potty charts, got enough stickers to wallpaper the bathroom, M&M's to keep him on a sugar high, juice to entice him to drink enough liquid to keep him peeing enough to flood the Nile, and a Lightening McQueen potty seat that I thought would be perfect for the Captain. Preparations: CHECK, Done. I was R.E.A.D.Y.. We watched movies until our eyes popped out of our heads and I was singing potty related theme songs like 'Accidents Happen' (Elmo's Potty) and 'No More Diapers for Me' (Potty Power) in my sleep. The Captain seemed ready, he seemed to get it, we talked about it, thought about it, got everything all lined up and prepped for day one.
- Official Start of potty training- Day 1: The Captain got up and we started right out of the gate in a world of potty training awesomeness. Going to the potty was cool, it was fun and despite the fact that our (at the time 9 month old ) would trot his chubby little rear end into the bathroom to open drawers and strip the bathroom closet of all of the extra toilet paper things went great. One big (you know what I mean) accident throughout the day but an otherwise awesome day. I can do this I thought- what was I worried about? I went to bed feeling pretty good about myself and thinking that this just MIGHT be some sort of redeeming act that might get me into the running for "Mother of the year'.
- Day 2: MAN, was I ready for an awesome day of potty incredibleness. I had read a lot that said that day 2 was often the messiest but you gotta be kidding me - yesterday this kid rocked the PANTS off of potty training- day 2 would be great too and maybe all of those people who said this could be done in 3 days were right after all...NOT SO MUCH. This was a full day riddled with accidents. Let me paint a picture for you- our little boy in his superman underpants somehow managed to (let's just say) "repaint" the living room cabinets in a pale yellow hue. To spot mark our white wall-to-wall carpet in various shades and consistencies of brown. Superman was only the first 10 minutes of the day... we also saw Batman, Buzz Lightyear, the Incredibles, Wall-E and I believe also the Green Lantern underpants. Our entire wardrobe of big boy-ness into the laundry in one day. Yep, day 2 was HORRID. He seemed O.K. on continuing to try every time I put him on the potty and wasn't adverse to the task ( I mean, there were a boatload of prizes involved that he could choose from so why wouldn't he be psyched?) but poor kid had nothing left to give each time...because it all went into HIS UNDERPANTS! Needless to say, I went to bed frustrated, depressed and cursing every overachieving potty training parent on the inter-webs.
- Day 3: NEW DAY... New Awesomeness awaited.. Prizes still worked great, he ran around on a sugar high for most of the day and his matchbox cars count nearly tripled by lunch. Day 3 = WAY better. We were inching our way to big boy-dom with every trip to the potty- BRING IT ON. Accident count: 1 REALLY big one but hey, the rest of the day rocked.
- Days 4-10: Groundhog day(s)... lots of greatness in the world of peeing in the potty. ZERO greatness in the world of pooping- urgh.
- Days 10-14: Talking more about Number 2, figuring it out... still accidents here and there so I have sucked it up and reverted back to him wearing Pull Ups... enough was enough, I was getting REALLY tired of spot cleaning the carpet. Problem seems mostly to stem from mommy error here. In no way will he tell me he has to go - if I don't wrench this child from whatever task he is involved in, strip him and get him on the throne - its accident time.
- Day 14- Day 30 (now): 75% there.. still only if I make him go - acknowledgement of the "feeling" is non existent still but we do have the majority of the day down as long as I stay on top of it.. can you tell how exhausting this is yet? I don't even want to write about it anymore.. I don't want to think about it or do it- I want this kid to "get it!" I know, I know.. that will come. I look forward to the day but, in the meantime we are still using the Pull Ups (because, lets be honest, I need to cut corners lest I wind up in the sanitarium). I admit that I have a tendency to space out and get lazy here and there thus resulting in an accident. So all in all, the length of time it takes is 100% relative to the involvement and dedication of the parent. I am actually sitting here writing this thinking 'I should be getting the Captain to the potty'. But, I am sitting here writing about this. It's selfish, but is also is a self preservation tactic (you will probably see that phrase a lot here at Witzend- SELF PRESERVATION...learn it, know it, live it).
. . .
We'll nail it... it may take 6 months but we will get there. And one day, maybe I will look back on the whole process and giggle and snicker at how lazy I was in some things and probably by the time when our current littlest ('Crazy Pants') is ready to learn I will be such a seasoned pro that it actually WILL take 3 days. (yeah, right).
No comments:
Post a Comment